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Sugar Rot

by p.s.you'redead

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1.
Somewhere not far in the distance a shadow forms Begging you to take a taste of the hell it holds I told you it would come for you I knew that it would come for you Hold that chin up Cuz it gets worse from here Smile while you can Cuz you won’t be able to soon You’ve made sure of it Fiery reflections in the whites of your eyes Fiery reflections in the whites of your eyes
2.
Running away now Scratch that phrase out Running out of time to save what’s left of your life Dig deep till your hands bleed What’s the point of coming clean if you don’t give a fuck what’s been done No one saves them from the crushing weight that you dropped on their lungs Grids light up across the sky Showing paths to where the trains can’t reach You’ll have to go on foot from here The path gets thin and your light dims out Moonlight shining off sharp teeth Use them well, I know you will Bring us home a feast I’ll show the pity that you showed me I’ll stay as clean as you’ll let me Friends and idols alike, spoil overnight Blood boils in the sun The reaper creeps in Friends and idols alike, spoil overnight Blood boils in the sun The reaper creeps in Come alone, come alone, come alone, come alone Steady on the descent Guard rails unscrewed Steady in the descent Guard rails unscrewed ‘Don’t you mind’ said the devil ‘if I tag along to make sure you get to the place I’m sending you’ Steady on the descent Guard rails unscrewed Steady on the descent Guard rails unscrewed At least the light show is something to see
3.
Holy fucking shit I hate the way that my skin fits I want to move to a dangerous city Find an appraisal for Exactly How much Each one of my organs are worth Burn my nervous energy Use the warmth to make it through Burn Flowers in your hair, violence in your heart I hope I’m through the worst of it Flowers in your hair violence in your heart I hope I’m through the worst of it Wrap myself in band-aids made from saved up past lives Wrap myself up, no longer mine
4.
Spill my heart Rip my head apart Slow, breath out, sit down and think of what you’ve found out How it sounds, if there’s doubt, if you can’t explain it It’s not mine to decide, I guess I’ll just accept you’re right and I’ll fight For this side Till I lose my will again Seductive voices of the dead Their words bare more weight than the rest Would you hear me better if my voice was only in your head? Seductive voices of the dead Their words bare more weight than the rest Would you hear me better if my voice was only in your head? You rescind the weight of kingdoms you build on ruins freshly leveled So the roots can grow again You rescind the weight of kingdoms you built on ruins freshly leveled So the roots can grow again And feel the sun again What was left and what it means Just slashing through this make believe
5.
My shadow looks more like me than my body does What makes me sad will keep mealworms fed I wasted my best, threw out my best years excavating hell Dug deep through the pit till my arms quit Rode the fire back up It burnt though my skin, organs within I think they’ll burst into dust And scatter across the earth My shadow looks more like me than my body does Shake off creeping inklings feels like static shocks are firing off in my mind Buzzing again Buzzing again Buzzing again Buzzing again No hopes to fight I lost a while before I tried Sting again Sting again What makes me sad will keep the mealworms fed
6.
Open up the discourse I will pretend I know anything of anything Flood my eyes with visions of something to have faith in I fill all my prescriptions just as something to do I feel the memories pressing for the first time this decade Pressure makes it stop The panic makes it go away For now Break me out, out of my broke down walls Where I hide These ruins can be fun sometimes These ruins can be fun sometimes I know a place to stay when I don’t really wanna be there but these ruins can be fun sometimes (Drown yourself) Resign myself to the current Further from the shore I will stray I have to speak out loud in the moment At least I can swim At least I can swim (Drown) In testing this theory (You filthy rat) You left me completely Paralyzed, fucked up and dreaming up the end Open up the (How open minded) Discourse I want (A man must be) To pretend I (To cut out their own tongue) Know anything of anything (And still speak out of turn) Circular breathe in your vomit Every time you think you know better Choke on it Let the idea end your life Just to complete something I could respect that I could respect
7.
Sugar Rot 01:02
I’d leave myself for dead if I was you too If this is all I get I’m gonna fucking crash Did you hear me? (Take your head) Did you hear what I said? (I’m gonna take your fucking head) Hang it in the living room (Where’s the rest?) That’s for me Put it in the freezer we’ll be fed for 30 weeks You’re so fucking sweet it hurts my teeth You’re so fucking sweet it hurts my teeth One more little bit to get by Help me relearn how to fucking fly You’re so fucking sweet It hurts my fucking teeth It hurts my fucking teeth
8.
Swim to the surface for sunlight you felt For the first time in your life But it’s just too comfortable When you fear the worst I'll sit alone and rethink What I need to be For a chance at relief From my darkest dream You're starting to see The fear that's splitting my seams I'm no longer me I'm no longer me
9.
I wish you could see how quick The flush of your cheeks fades With a wound that deep I wish you could see how quick The flush of your cheeks fades With a wound that deep But now I’ll just pretend you learned your lesson I’ll pretend that I’m sorry As I accumulate some habits that aren’t my own I wish you could see how quick The flush of your cheeks fades With a wound that deep Fall asleep Stay right where you are Just wait for time to start Oh my god I’ve been here long enough Save my breath for what comes next a conscience stuck under quicksand Propped upright then stripped of myself I watch as the reaper crawls the earth to find one last life to take I bet your god is happy that you wouldn’t let him take me Decisions made too early lead to such a close call I know your god is happy, he won’t have me he doesn’t want me Fucking up the plan Fucking up your paradise I’ll just get myself Out of this Like I always have somehow I’ll just get myself Out of this Like I always have somehow Falling out of favor again For hopefully the last time Before I die Dragged down fast
10.
Cut inverted, stitched up clean Violently, finally So much deeper than it seemed Take a seat there Feel calm? It’s alright now That you’re gone Feel the slow creeping of my blade to your neck Bleeding like you made the rest bleed Fuck second chances, you made this bed yourself With all the life you’ve stolen from people who needed your help We’ll dance on your grave We’ll dance on your grave
11.
Spit all the poison you want You’ll never kill me With that weak of a dose Pray for the day I can erase Every one of my Big fucking mistakes Slash the silence with blades made from the words that you used to curse me Slash my through behind the funeral home Save the coroner some gas money The witch that haunts my dreams Was just a future me I’m making up for years and fucking years of lost sleep Spit all the poison you want You’ll never kill me (With that weak of) Sell off the faith that you’ve got While it’s worth something (While it’s worth) Clean eyes behind charred hearts, disguised Clean eyes behind charred hearts, disguised You’ll never kill me I know you can’t do it
12.
I cannot refrain from spitting teeth from my mouth when forces more formidable than me destroy what I thought was inviolable but now I’m begging please don’t creep back through the cracks I just learned how to fill I’ve just cleansed my body My conscience So murky Unprocessed A million eyes all void of life align the site where we will die They never stop watching so let’s give them something to see We’ll free Them from Their seeds Crashing at the rocks and forming shapes that trace the outlines of our shadows almost too perfectly I start to chisel them away We’ll break From this Dull frame Say goodbye to your family Hitch a ride down south Then you’re driving a car you can’t remember buying or stealing or anything like that You’re just on your way somewhere Somewhere time will get away from you, but you won’t miss it Somewhere you can forget that these are your last days Or maybe not Forever it haunts.

credits

released February 25, 2022

Duane LaValley - drums
Deanna Kania - bass
Jasmine Rollain - synth/piano/vocals
Lilith Crimi - guitar/vocals/piano in track 11

Engineered, mixed, and mastered by Jon Wisniewski @ Second River Studios

Cover art by Alan Schrutt @ SlinkyCubes Design

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p.s.you'redead Buffalo, New York

Danceviolence

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